Thursday, July 22, 2010

Revenue Madness

by Dick Mac

Now that the United States tax rate is at its lowest since 1950, and most Americans still don't want to pay any taxes, we need to find other ways to fund civilization. Not that Americans have any interest in civilization!

For most of us, you need only ensure that the television networks are broadcasting, the booze manufacturers are open for business, there is a free flow of gasoline, and the high-fructose-corn-syrup-laced snacks are easy to reach.

But, the government cannot spend any money ensuring things like roads, airports, seaports, and the protection of commerce are in place. We need our tax cuts first. Well, and if are paying attention to the teabaggers, we need to get rid of the brown immigrants and put the brown citizens in the place they enjoyed in the good-old-days.

So, how are we going to run a government, a civilization, when the overweight, well-paid white guys don't want to pay taxes? Tax the things they don't use, of course! Taxing human brain use would be acceptable I suppose, because most teabaggers aren't using theirs; but that would be hard to measure. We could tax books, because most teabaggers prefer Fox News to the printed word, but taxing books is so unseemly. We could increase the tax on cigarettes, which I think is a great idea. We can't tax the HFCS-laced soft drinks, because most of the teabaggers buy sweetened juices and soda pop. Whatever is a nation to do when it's controlled by a tiny minority with a huge media conglomerate behind it?

Oakland, California, has an idea! They've decided to legalize the recreational use of marijuana, and license and tax farms within their municipality.

Most teabaggers, although they pretend to support personal freedom, are opposed to the legalization of marijuana (not all of them, just most of them). So, although Oakland may have found a legitimate and intelligent revenue stream, you can be sure that some chubby white folks will be on the air assailing Oakland for being irresponsible and jeopardizing the safety of all the little white children.

Little white children should have access to booze, prescription drugs, guns and automobiles; but they should never, under any circumstances, have access to marijuana!

Legalization of marijuana is long overdue in the United States and the more cities and states that start the process, the more pressure will be put on the federal government to address the issue.

Kudos to Oakland, California! I hope you successfully beat back the teabaggers who will try to stop your brilliant plan!

Then you can retain and/or re-hire the sixty cops you'll have to fire this year without that revenue stream.

Oakland, Seeking Financial Lift, Approves Giant Marijuana Farms


No comments: