Thursday, June 26, 2008

Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

When "conservative" Republican Vito J. Fossella got caught breaking the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, and the moral teachings of the Catholic church he allegedly holds in such high regard, the sanctity of his marriage (marriage that conservatives like Fossella want to deny decent, tax-paying gay people) was called into question.

And when the adulteress with whom he fathered a bastard child was exposed as the home-wrecker she is, then he had to step-down from his elected seat in Washington and might actually have to find real work.

(I love writing in that heavy-handed moral tone the conservatives like to use to demean those weaker than them and to smear liberals.)

His scum-bag-edness, Fossella, and his cronies in the Staten Island Comedy Club, I mean the Staten Island Republican Party, had to find a viable candidate to try and keep the seat in GOP hands.

A guy whose name didn't end in a vowel found himself at the front of the pack and that guy is now dead. Nice group of vital, important, moral, upstanding citizens the GOP has over there in Staten Island.

I wonder: Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

Ever been to Staten Island?

It's not all bad. There are some very nice people there.

Spend an afternoon at the Staten Island Mall, though, and you will be amazed as you watch people of every age group, whose heritage hearkens back to a certain Mediterranean country, doing live re-enactments of "The Sopranos," "The Godfather," and "Scarface."

If it wasn't so sad that these people are living-out this Hollywood stereotype in all their spare time between haircuts, shopping, piercings, tattoos, and chewing the Body of Christ, it might be funny.

But enough with the derision!

Some Irish guy named Frank Powers found himself poised as the GOP candidate in the race to replace Fossella in Congress. At some level he must have had the support (tacit or not) of those controlling the Grand Old Party in Staten Island, and one can only assume that he did something to piss-off the wrong guy, because he has had a heart attack and is no longer the candidate.

Perhaps he only pissed-off God. Perhaps God really wants a phony "conservative" whose name ends in a vowel to represent his people in Staten Island.

I wonder: Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

OK! Enough with the stereotypes. I don't really think the Italian guys running the Staten Island GOP had anything to do with Powers' heart attack; but, it's just too perfect to resist the obvious innuendo!

Let's get back to trashing "conservatives"!

Did you hear the one about the Staten Island conservative Catholic guy who was happily married with a lovely family and went to Washington to be a Congressman? Never mind, it isn't funny.

This guy Fossella is so morally upstanding and so in love with family values that he can't get enough families! I guess there is greater value in having multiple families. One here, one there, one everywhere!

But wait! Fossella shuns not only the good Roman Catholic family of a lovely bride and three lovely children that was blessed by the church, he shuns the family from which he hails!

That's right! His own mother and father and at least one of his siblings.

Fossella will not attend family events at which his sister, a lesbian woman, is present. This guy is so bought and sold that he's abandoned his own flesh and blood for power! There's an Al Pacino movie here somewhere and it's not a nice one where the Italian mobsters get to whack all the bad guys; it's a movie about Satan buying and selling the souls of those in love with power. And Fossella doesn't get the starring role! He's the idiot schmuck who accepts the devil's deal and sacrifices . . . oh, I don't know . . . his babies eyes or his sister or something like that.

In the end he dies a miserable death, and I think to myself: Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

So, let's see . . . this guy is blessed with three families: (1) the family created by his parents which isn't good enough for him because one of his siblings is a homosexual, (2) the family he built himself under the auspices of a Catholic union which he shuns because he has a hotter piece of ass in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., and (3) an adulteress who has given him (thank God) a lovely child.

There's a lot of family value there. You shop at Costco, buy everything near wholesale, and you get great family values! Or, does he mean Family values, as in The Family. You know, the stereotypical Family presented by Hollywood. What kind of value does he get from that Family?

And I wonder: Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

Do you think he hits his wives? I'll bet he does. Most of those macho family values types are bullies. And I want to know about his boyfriend, too! Do you think it's a guy from high school he's been doing for thirty years, or do you think he likes the street urchins and drag queens on Christopher Street? I can't wait for that piece of dirt to come out. And you know it will.

Just pray to Jesus (our Lord and Savior) that Fossella doesn't come out. How tedious would that be? Another Republican elected official exposed as a homosexual who hates homosexuals! Hopefully he'll stay in the closet and just be a piece of trade. But it's so predictable that it will probably happen.

Would I stop picking on him then? Would I stop saying nasty things about him if he came-out and tried to make amends for his hideous self? Probably. But maybe not.

Anyhow . . . I meant to write an article about the race to replace Fossella in Congress, and I think it's important to present an analysis based on the facts of the campaign . . .

. . . but, fuck it . . . let's just trash Fossella! He's a piece of shit and it's much more fun to call him names and demean him on the Internet! Kick him while he's down; that's what he's done to homosexuals and liberals all his life. He's a friggin' bully!

Hey Vito: Can you wear white shoes to a funeral?

Death Creates More Turmoil in S.I. Congressional Race

No comments: