Wednesday, August 08, 2007


It was 11:52 P.M. when I turned to Channel 35, ESPN2, last night. I had just finished watching a World Series of Poker show that I had DVR'd the night before and decided to record the next installment.

Barry Bonds was at bat versus the Washington Nationals, and I assumed it was a highlight show, but it wasn't. It was live.

First pitch, home run! Number 756. I had just seen Barry Bonds break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record. I still assumed it was a highlight show, but it wasn't. It was live. I had just seen Bonds become the Home Run King.

The cameras followed the arc of the ball into the right field seats, then followed him around the bases, then showed his family in the stands, then showed a tape of the fans scrambling to get their hands on the most valuable ball in baseball, then Bonds was waving to the crowd as his teammates surrounded him, then his family made their way to the field, then a gang of policemen were seen escorting the ball owner out of the stands in a manner resembling a major arrest of an evil mass murderer, then Willie Mays (Bonds' godfather) was on the field with a microphone, then the public address announcer introduced a videotape of Hank Aaron sending his congratulatory best wishes. This wasn't a highlights show, I had stumbled on the real thing. Live.

Bonds took the microphone from Mays and thanked all the right people. The crowd cheered, the home run was shown over and over again.

The game was delayed about ten minutes.

And that was that.

Baseball has crowned a new home run king.

Now maybe they can really get serious about cleaning-up their sport and ridding it of steroids, chemically constructed physical freaks, and cheats.

Bartender? Asterisks all around!

Dick Mac Recommends:

Jose Canseco

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