"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff . . . Da . . . I became a prostitute. . . . "
"Ye what!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, and savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club . . . (takes a breath) . . . and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and . . . "
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
The girl, crying again, whimpered "Sniff, sniff . . . a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Beejesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."
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