Wednesday, January 24, 2007

101 Dumbest Moments - from

The year's biggest boors, buffoons, and blunderers
By Adam Horowitz, David Jacobson, Tom McNichol, and Owen Thomas

These were my fave:

5. Kazakhstan: Currency. Yup! The Kazakhs what to defend themselves against the Borat movie, but they spell the word bank incorrectly on their money! Tee-hee! (Still, they have the cleanest prostitutes in all of the former Soviet republics!)

10. Comcast: Cable repairman (CMCSK). This is the famous one I blogged previously. Even Comcast can't get service from Comcast!

15. Wal-Mart: Andrew Young (WMT). Yeah, Andy! It's not the union-busting that's destroyed the black working-class: it's the kikes and gooks and rag-heads! Wal-Mart is a friend of all working niggers, it's just the other friggin' coloreds we have to watch out for!

32. TradingMarkets: Playboy stock contest. Miss June can earn you better returns than Smith Barney! And she waxes, and shows you her boobs!

56. AOL: Cancellation call (TWX). Oh, man! This is a beautiful thing. Try to cancel your AOL account. Go ahead! For the heck of it, just open an AOL account. Then call them back and cancel it. It's fun. Really!

69. Great Britain's Royal Mail: Santa stamp. Santa poos in your chimney and the Archbishop of Canterbury is upset that Royal Mail didn't include more Christian imagery on the stamp! Like Jesus poo-ing in your chimney?

101. Hasbro: Pussycat Dolls (HAS). Gotta love the band Pussycat Dolls. At night. When my daughter is fast asleep. I don't want her to actually aspire to be a stripper/slut/hooker. Shit happens, OK, girls become erotic dancers and prostitutes, but I don't think I want to actually promote those professions as goals for girls or boys.

In the Unfair Department:

18. Kindergarten teacher turned stripper

19. PBS Kids Sprout network

Two women who are not allowed to teach or speak to our children because they have second jobs. These communities obviously think women working in children's industries are making real money. Ever seen the paystub of a pre-school teacher or a Sprout spokesmodel? These girls are not raking in the cash! Let 'em strip and sell sex! We let our elected officials do it, we let our priests and ministers do it, we let actresses and athletes do it!

Anyway . . . here's the whole list:

101 Dumbest Moments
The year's biggest boors, buffoons, and blunderers

1 Wal-Mart: PR campaign (WMT)
2 Northwest Airlines: '101 Ways to Save Money' guide
3 McDonald's: MP3 player giveaway (MCD)
4 GM: User-generated ad campaign (GM)
5 Kazakhstan: Currency
6 Steve Wynn: Picasso
7 New York Times Co.: Customer data (NYT)
8 Spirit Airlines: Hoffa ad campaign
9 Porter County, Ind.: Home values
10 Comcast: Cable repairman (CMCSK)
11 Starbucks: E-mail offer (SBUX)
12 Sony: Flaming computers (SNE)
13 Consumer Safety Products Commission: Laptop advisory
14 Vonage: IPO (VG)
15 Wal-Mart: Andrew Young (WMT)
16 Rising Sun Anger Release Bar: Co-workers
17 Alarm One: Team building
18 Kindergarten teacher turned stripper
19 PBS Kids Sprout network
20 Fiji Water vs. Cleveland
21 FCC in Details Magazine
22 Business Week cover
23 Microsoft: Two products - same name (MSFT)
24 B2/Raytheon: CEO's book (RTN)
25 BBC: Goma interview
26 Greyhound: Dumping incident
27 RadioShack: Layoffs (RSH)
28 National Semiconductor: Gifts (NSM)
29 Hyundai-Kia: Chairman's abject apology
30 Lone Star: Mea culpa
31 Goldman Sachs: Web site (GS)
32 TradingMarkets: Playboy stock contest
33 Heart Attack Grill: Triple bypass burger
34 Antwerp museum: Meat apparel
35 Wal-Mart: Thomas Coughlin (WMT)
36 Catawba County: Google suit
37 Thomsonfly: Lost cellphone
38 Imelda Marcos: Jewelry line
39 Greece: GDP
40 Natural Selection Foods: E.coli
41 Home Depot: Investor conference (HD)
42 MBA candidates: Cheating
43 Paris Hilton: DUI
44 New Lenox mayor: Strip-club tab
45 Cryogenics pioneers: Freezer malfunction
46 UnitedHealth: CEO options (UNH)
47 Comverse: CEO options
48 Cablevision Systems: Options
49 EnBW: Nuclear plant keys
50 H.R. Hargreaves & Son: Ham ingredients
51 Honda: Owner's manuals
52 Oracle: Larry Ellison donation (ORCL)
53 Disney: Winnie the Pooh (DIS)
54 Wal-Mart: Blog (WMT)
55 Richard Hatch: Sentenced
56 AOL: Cancellation call (TWX)
57 AOL: Search queries (TWX)
58 YouTube: Copyright infringement
59 Golden State Warriors: "Ghetto Prom"
60 Belt buckle
61 Microsoft: Google search (MSFT)
62 DDS Media: Typo
63 TextTrust: Typo
64 Welsh Dragon Sausages: Name change
65 CIA: Comedy Central ad
66 Jessica Simpson: Jeans endorsement
67 Sony PlayStation: Billboard campaign (SNE)
68 Hewlett-Packard: Pretexting (HPQ)
69 Great Britain's Royal Mail: Santa stamp
70 KRON 4: Address change
71 Bausch & Lomb: ReNu recall (BOL)
72 UCLA e-mail (AMZN)
73 Wal-Mart: Ad agency (WMT)
74 Pearson: SAT scores
75 Time Warner: Wayne Pace (TWX)
76 AirTran: Stranded passengers
77 Bank of America: Training replacements (BAC)
78 McCain Foods: Potatoes
79 Mercedes-Benz: $1.7 million lemon
80 News Corp.: "If I did it" (NWS)
81 McDonald's:"Hummer of a Summer" (MCD)
82 Online video fans:
83 TacoBell: Tainted vegetables
84 Shai: Porn star clothing
85 U.S. Mint: Metal prices
86 Wal-Mart:DVD titles (WMT)
87 AussieBum: Men's underwear
88 Mars: M&M menorahs
89 Hoboken, N.J.: Garage operator
90 Bristol-Myers Squibb: Generics deal (BMY)
91 New York: Crackheadz Gone Wild
92 Michael Eisner: Debut show
93 Stefan Eriksson: String of discoveries
94 Greenville Drive: Mascot
95 NTT: Hackers
96 UCLA: Social Security numbers
97 Home Depot: Drugs (HD)
98 Imagination 69: Treasure hunt
99 Tesco: Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit
100 Toymaker Spin Master: Kid tattoos
101 Hasbro: Pussycat Dolls (HAS)

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