Friday, April 21, 2006

One Child Left Behind!

The current administration's plan to ensure the education of white children might have it's first example of why this fraudulent program is so vital. There are stupid people! And not just the ones that voted for Bush twice, but simple, ordinary suburbanites like the idiot who allowed a man to enter her home, fondle her breasts and touch her vagina.

In the big picture, I see nothing wrong with touching breasts and genitals. Everyone should have their genitals touched on occasion.

What is odd about this story, however, is that the woman called the police and the man has been arrested for sexual assault.

The man, Philip Winikoff, knocked on the woman's door, explained that he was a doctor (which he is not) providing neighborhood health check-ups as a service of the local hospital. He offered her a free breast exam to check for lumps, and then offered to perform a cervical exam, to which the woman consented. The man touched her vagina, but we don't know yet if his fingers actually penetrated her. At this point, Miss Shit-For-Brains-From-The-Great-State-Of-Florida, became suspicious because he wasn't wearing rubber gloves!

She became suspicious not when a strange man offered to fondle her breasts or touch her vagina, but only when he failed to wear rubber gloves! I guess I know what to wear to her house when I visit!

She reported him to the police who arrested Mr. Winikoff a couple days later in a nearby housing development, offering his services to another woman.

What freaks me out about this story is not that Winikoff posed as a doctor to fondle breasts and vaginas (which is totally creepy), but that this woman welcomed him into her home and disrobed for him!

Where did this woman come from? Where did she go to school? What planet has she been on the past 30 years? Didn't anyone ever tell her that although strangers' candy always tastes best, it is best to not take candy from strangers?

I am no fan of sexual assault, but neither am I a fan of stupidity.

This woman is stupid! Winikoff is creepy, but he is not a rapist. If Winikoff is imprisoned, I hope the victim is forced to return to the first grade and complete at least twelve years of remedial education.

Yeah! I hate stupid people!

But, wait! Did this woman allow him to do this because she has no health insurance? Are American women so desperate for free health care that they, like their second-world counterparts, must consider providing sexual favors for health care?

What is the real issue here? Is it sexual battery? Stupidity? Or the wealthiest nation in the world failing to provide health care for its tax-paying citizenry?

I wonder if I'd give it up for health care. I guess I would. But, I wouldn't have the doctor arrested afterwards!

Here's The Smoking Gun

Dick Mac Recommends:

The Dictionary of Republicanisms
Katrina vanden Heuvel

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