Monday, July 18, 2005

Oh! It's All Boston's Fault

Ask any Yankees fan, especially those who pronounce snidely that there is no rivalry between the Red Sox and the Yankees, even though their New York media (yes, even the Times) is wet with the slime of their own collective scrotums whenever the two teams play.

Ask any Lakers fan, especially Jack Nicholson who always looked so fantastically uncool in total defeat.

Ask any pretend-conservative who believes thinking is an infliction and God tells them what to do.

They'll all tell you: It's all Boston's fault.

Enter Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), the third-ranking Republican in the land.

According to Senator Santorum, the children who were sexually abused by Catholic priests around the world are not the victims of criminals, but the entire City of Boston.

Yup! Boys raped in Pennsylvania, Kentucky and Texas are victims because, according to Senator Santorum:
When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political, and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.

Yup! Cultural liberalism is a sick culture and the sole reason there are pederasts. I guess there are no pederasts in the Bible Belt, just in Boston.

All the bad priests? From Boston. All the divorced christians: from Boston. All the grossly obese white people sucking our health care system dry: from Boston. All the neo-conservative terrorists that blow-up clinics and nightclubs and Olympics and federal buildings: all from Boston. All the liars in Washington: all from Boston. Everything that is bad about America? It's the fault of Boston.

Yup! It's the cultural liberals that make everything bad. The overweight, divorced, bible-thumping terrorists of the South: they do nothing wrong. Everything Sen. Santorum promotes is perfect and anything that comes from thinking people is bad. The problem? Cultural Liberalism!

Yup. The culture that brought labor unions, drug safety, automobile safety, voting rights, workplace safety, food safety, and all the other evils of the 20th century: evil cultural liberals from Boston.

So . . . it's time for the cultural liberals to secede from the union and leave the good people to themselves. We can take all our tax dollars, societal stability and higher learning and join New California to form a liberal nation. We'll leave all the divorced tax-avoiding obese bible-thumpers from Virginia to New Mexico to fend for themselves. Let's see how long they last as a nation! (Hell, they hate themselves so it's unlikely they could ever form an actual nation without the help of some thinkers.)

Read about Santorum's here.

When will liberals wake-up, threaten to write their neo-con children out of the will, vote their soul instead of their pocketbooks and run these idiots back where they belong: into the hills of the backwoods?

Dick Mac Recommends:

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