Friday, February 25, 2005

Some Good Things About Getting Old

  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

  • It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.

  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

  • There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

  • You can eat dinner at 4:00.

  • You can live without sex but not without glasses.

  • You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

  • You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

  • You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

  • You got cable for the weather channel.

  • You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

  • You send money to PBS.

  • You sing along with the elevator music.

  • You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

  • Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

  • Your back goes out more than you do.

  • Your ears are hairier than your head.

  • Your eyes won't get much worse.

  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

  • Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Thanks to Dave for sending this along.

Happy Birthday to all who are aging!

Dick Mac Recommends:

Godfrey Reggio

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