Friday, October 29, 2004

No Satan on the Sabbath?

There have always been religious whackos in America. This continent, although already inhabited by millions of aborigines, was re-settled by religious whackos from England in the seventeenth century.

Fortunately, for people with functioning brains, the founders of this great nation installed a separation between church and state so that all citizens (idiots, thinkers, pagans, everybody) would be welcome to live their lives free from the greatest tyranny ever known in western civilization: religious crusades and inquisitions.

I happen to be a person of religious conviction. My religious beliefs are somewhat unorthodox because I use the brain that comes with my anatomy. Therefore, I am unable and unwilling to suffer gladly the idiocy of fundamentalism or the assholes who go around promoting war and intolerance, because God spoke to them.

Just in case you don't know from personal experience: God doesn't talk to people! Never has. Anyone who says God spoke to them is a liar.

Christmas is a wonderful time for me, because I love the pageantry and story-telling about the birth of Jesus. I also love the non-religious rituals: decorating a tree, swapping gifts, eating and drinking to excess, the hedonistic, avaricious, prideful, gluttonous, envious rituals of good, old-fashioned American partying!

I see that these two celebrations can co-exist.

The same is true for the joint celebrations of All Hallows Eve and Halloween. October 31 is the day before the celebration of the feast of All Saints. Not just St. Patrick or St. Mary, but ALL the saints. It's a pretty nifty religious celebration. I like it.

I am not a particular fan of Halloween, but I have no objection to it. I just find it tedious. I love that kids have so much fun and I wish it was a holiday just for children. I am bored by the adults who dress-up on Halloween.

This year for Halloween, I will take my daughter to a haunted carousel and we will laugh and take pictures. I look forward to this fun. That's what Haloween is: FUN!

I will not take my daughter to church on All Saints Day because she is too young to appreciate it.

Still, I like these holidays being back-to-back.

Enter, please, the christian whackos!

This year, Halloween falls on a Sunday. For christians, this is the Sabbath. As the article below illustrates, some whackos think one holiday should be changed because it conflicts with their religious beliefs. That's right! These idiots think Halloween should be moved to a different day because it interferes with their church-going!

Excuse me? Exactly which kind of idiot are you? Let me explain this for you, while you wipe the Jesus out of your eyes:

You get up in the morning this Sunday.
You pray and meditate.
You bathe and clean yourself.
You have breakfast.
You go to church.
You come home.
You have lunch.
You dress your children in their cute little costumes.
You go trick-or-treating.
You come home.
You argue with your children about how much candy they can eat.
You eat dinner.
You clean and get ready for bed.
You watch your children in a pool of tears crash from their sugar buzz.
You go to bed.
It's almost Monday.

It's really simple.

Please enjoy this Yahoo! about the issue:

Sunday Halloween Irks Some in Bible Belt
By KRISTEN WYATT, Associated Press Writer

NEWNAN, Ga. - Across the Bible Belt this Halloween, some little ghosts and goblins might get shooed away by the neighbors — and some youngsters will not be allowed to go trick-or-treating at all — because the holiday falls on a Sunday this year.

"It's a day for the good Lord, not for the devil," said Barbara Braswell, who plans to send her 4-year-old granddaughter Maliyah out trick-or-treating in a princess costume on Saturday instead.

Some towns around the country are decreeing that Halloween be celebrated on Saturday to avoid complaints from those who might be offended by the sight of demons and witches ringing their doorbell on the Sabbath. Others insist the holiday should be celebrated on Oct. 31 no matter what.

"Moving it, that's like celebrating Christmas a week early," said Veronica Wright, who bought a Power Rangers costume for her son in Newnan. "It's just a kid thing. It's not for real."

It is an especially sensitive issue for authorities in the Bible Belt across the South.

"You just don't do it on Sunday," said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Ga. "That's Christ's day. You go to church on Sunday, you don't go out and celebrate the devil. That'll confuse a child."

In Newnan, a suburb south of Atlanta, the City Council decided to go ahead with trick-or-treating on Sunday. In 1999, the last time Oct. 31 fell on a Sunday, the city moved up trick-or-treating to Saturday, which brought howls of protest.

"We don't need to confuse people with this," Councilman George Alexander said.

In Vestavia Hills, Ala., a suburb of Birmingham, a furor erupts every time Halloween falls on Sunday. Local officials decided not to take a stand this time.

"About 15 years ago, we decided to have Halloween on Saturday instead. People went crazy. We said, `Never again,'" recalled Starr Burbic, longtime secretary to the mayor. "It messed everybody up to move Halloween. Some people don't like having it on a Sunday, but we just couldn't find a way to make everyone happy."

The patchwork of trick-or-treat zones could work to children's advantage: Some might go out on both nights to get all the treats they can.

With so many towns split over when Halloween should be celebrated, many are going with a porch-light compromise: If people do not want trick-or-treaters, they simply turn off their lights, and parents are asked not to have kids knock there.

"Most people don't have a problem with it. It's a pretty universal compromise, so that's what we go with," said Grand Rapids, Mich., police Lt. Douglas Brinkley.

Mrs. Mac says VOTE!

For our New York friends, Mrs. Mac provides this information for finding your polling place. It is imperative that we all vote, and sometimes polling places are moved. Call now to confirm the location of the polls for your precinct!

Toll Free: 1.866.VOTE-NYC (1.866.868.3692)
Outside of New York City: 1.212.VOTE-NYC
TDD: 1.212.487.5496

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