Monday, June 14, 2004

Reagan Is Dead (Still)

Now that Ronald Reagan is still dead, I suggest we increase the dialogues about fitting memorials.

Adding him to Mount Rushmore is too dull and not innovative enough. Putting him on the money is so run-of-the-mill! Rename every airport after him? Nah! Force every city in the nation to name a Reagan Boulevard? We could take away all the Martin Luther King Blvds. and give them to Reagan!

I say we build The Ronald Reagan AIDS Memorial

A big hole in the ground someplace surrounded by a granite list of all the people who died of AIDS from 1980 - 1992.

I think St. Peter will have the entire list waiting for Reagan after he gets through heavenly immigration (which, given the re-engineering of the heavenly workplace, should take six or seven years).

I can see it now: An old guy with a big white beard in a priestly robe holding a list of tens of thousands of dead innocents looking down on Reagan in a wheelchair in a diaper, drooling on himself, hands covered in the blood of everyone who died of AIDS under his reign. Not a good moment to be Ronald Reagan!

So let's take that list of names and carve them into a memorial for Reagan.

Yeah -- that's fitting!


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