My husband and I divorced over religious differences: He thought he was God, and I didn't.
A man on his deathbed gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, dear," he said to his wife.
"Of course, dear," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
A man goes to see the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"
The man explains, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, is surprised and asks, "How can that be?"
The man pleads, "I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
"Yes!" the man exclaims.
"Take the poison."
Thanks to Dave for sending these along!