Friday, August 31, 2007

Christian Conservative Scientist Reaches Conclusion Regarding Amphibians, Deafness, and Logic

A scientist at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University has reached a remarkable conclusion in his study of logic and behavior.

Hailed by the White House and neo-conservatives from Hillary Clinton to Mitt Romney as one of America's brightest stars in the field of American thinking, the scientist has released his findings that prove that American Conservative thinking is an exact science and that conclusions reached by the Bush Administration and conservative think-tanks are irrefutable.

Using frogs in a study funded by the federal government, it has now been proven that the simplest conclusion is often the correct conclusion.

The scientist placed a frog on the ground and told it to jump. It jumped four feet. The scientist concludes, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

The scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. After the wound healed and the frog was deemed to be healthy, he placed it on the floor and told it to jump, The frog jumped three feet. The scientist concluded, "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

Another of the frog's legs was surgically removed, and when the frog healed, it was placed on the ground where it was told to jump, so it jumped two feet. "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet," was noted.

One of the frog's remaining two legs was amputated. Recovery was delayed by infection, but it eventually rebounded. The frog was placed on the ground and had to be coaxed a bit, but when it finally made a leap, it jumped just about thirteen inches. The scientist dutifully noted, "Frog with one foot, jumps one foot."

The frog's last leg was removed and it recovered remarkably quickly from the surgery. When it was placed on the ground, it did not move. The scientist yelled: "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

When the animal did not move, the scientist concluded, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

Perfect logic used to reach a perfect conclusion! Welcome to the world of neo-conservative thinking!

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