A newlywed husband had just finished reading a new book, "You Can Be The Man Of Your House," and it filled him with the confidence that he could institute some changes.
Into the kitchen he strode and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he pronounced:
"From now on, you need to understand that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!
"You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want to have.
"After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife calmly replied, "The funeral director would be my guess."