Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Arsenal Win FA Cup

Arsenal are the holders of the FA Cup! Arsenal are the winners. Arsenal beat their opponents to claim their fourth FA Cup trophy in the past 10 years!

Congratulations, boys! You make me proud to be a supporter. Sure, you had a shit day, but you won! I'll take it!

For 120 minutes the Evil Manchester United completely out-played my beloved Arsenal. Then the new ManUre showed themselves for what they really are: A has-been squad with no future and a bunch of sociopathic talent led by a puffy-faced control freak. We have been listening to pundits go on and on about this hideous organization for years, and even moreso lately since they have become just another plaything for an American billionaire.

What is the truth about Arsenal's added-time FA Cup final? ManUre played their hearts out, and just like their entire season, they were unable to score when needed! Arsenal, on the other hand, played like a crap squad and lifted the FA Cup trophy high in the air.

How did this happen? Penalty kicks!

Sadly, the winner of one of the world's most venerated trophies was decided by a series of penalty shots. This is ludicrous, of course, but it is what it is.

No major trophy should ever be awarded after a penalty shoot-out; the teams should play until 'sudden-death' or 'golden-goal.' These millionaires should be forced to continue playing until one of them scores a damned goal! Who cares if they're tired? This is what they do! This is what they are paid to do!

Still, my team won, and for that I am grateful!

England is filthy with ManUre apologists posing as journalists. Kevin McCarra, in the Guardian, implying that my beloved Arsenal intentionally played poorly so that the tedious Roy Carroll would be out-of-sorts and not sharp enough to stop the penalties!
The stalemate was not wholly accidental either, with Arsenal's system taking some of the blame for the fact that Roy Carroll did not have to make a single real save in open play. The goalkeeper was probably out of practice by the time the shoot-out started.
Kevin McCarra, in the Guardian

Please! Take your head out of your anus, man!

Even in the USA, Fox Sports Channel reports primarily about the greatness of losers Ronaldo and Rooney, making excuses for them.

Wayne Rooney is a sociopath with no manners and if he wasn't a white sports star, he would probably be imprisoned for his behavior at work. He is a horrible role-model, a terrible sportsman, and an evil young man who spends more time swearing at officials than scoring goals. The fact that a boatload of star-sucking English hacks, Scottish commentators, and Welsh thugs want to turn this evil scum into a national hero points to the English insanity around this horrible (now American) organization. Rooney is a horrible person and I look forward to his being dismissed from the sport in disgrace!

Enough about them!

What is ahead for Arsenal?

Next season is their last at Highbury. They will move to a new stadium at Ashburton Grove.

Manager Arsene Wenger has been offered a lifetime contract. It would be wonderful if he took it; but I suspect he will eventually move on to manage the France national team and try to add a World Cup to his collection.

Denis Bergkamp will be offered a final one-year contract and be honored in 2006 with a testimonial match (could Ian Wright be there?)!

Ashley Cole will demand more money than he is worth, will depart Highbury for Stamford Bridge, and become a part-time player for Jose Morinho's most-boring Chelsea side. He will become even more sullen and angry, then probably take a job in Spain where he will be even more miserable! Good luck, Ashley. You will make a mistake by leaving and I don't even care anymore.

Edu is gone. Fool.

Jose Antonio Reyes wants to go back to Spain. I guess he misses having his penis bitten by teammates during goal celebrations. English teams don't really kiss that much, and penis-nibbling, though totally amusing, is not a very English event on the pitch.

Could we get Michael Owen from Madrid for Reyes and cash?

Will Lauren leave?

The core will remain: Robert Pires, Gilberto Silva, Patrick Vieira, Fredrik Ljungberg, and Thierry Henry. They will be enhanced by this year's wonderful crop of young studs: Robin vanPersie, Cesc Fabregas, Phillipe Senderos, and Jeremie Aliadiare.

Who will be signed? A top-flight goalkeeper? A replacement for Cole? The summer will be fun!

Thank you, Arsenal!

Better coverage of the FA Cup penalty shoot-out is provided in the 21 May article written by the always-amusing Brooklyn Gooner.

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3 comments:

Liz said...

Rooney is a brilliant player. And no better or worse as a human being than 90% of footballers! When he does it for England next year at the World Cup I will cheer for him. But not until then and certainly not for his scummy team.

Why were FA Cup Final replays outlawed I say! They were perfectly fine and should be brought back.

Reyes is a spoiled brat! There are some wonderful young players coming thru... Flamini, Owusu-Abeyie... the future is bright for Arsenal!

Come on Liverpool for tomorrow! :oD

DM said...

I disagree, Liz! I think the venom in Rooney's eyes and his CONSTANT berating of officials (which is dramatically more than others his age but maybe no more than the rest of the scum at ManUre) shows a level of anti-social behavior that should not be tolerated. Excuse him if yu like, but I think he is a sociopath.

Liz said...

I think that he is a teenager with white trash for parents and he is a product of them. Most players berate the officials. If Rooney is still like this when he is 25 (still very young!) then fair enough. He's played 2 seasons of football in his life and everyone is on his back. I think he's a working class boy who has a lot to learn, he's no worse than most players and is under considerably more pressure than they are to be England's international football saviour!