Hey! I have an idea . . .

by Dick Mac

(This is fiction based on the wacky father in the picture at the left.)

"Let's build a hot-air balloon in my backyard and use the project as a pilot for a reality television show."

"Why would anyone want to watch a television show about a balloon?"

"People don't watch reality television shows based on the content, they watch based on the people. My wife and I are both good-looking, funny, and talented. We've already been on a couple of reality shows and the producers always say they want us back. But, the real money is in producing the show, not getting the pittance they give to the participants."

"Still, why a hot-air balloon?"

"It's a family thing. We'll base it on a sort of around the world in eighty days thing."

"Where do you get the funding for the cameras and staff?"

"Well, what we need to do is create a sensation about it and draw the attention of sponsors."

"So, hire a publicist, I'm a researcher."

"Exactly! We do the research and get a balloon built and then an incident will bring the media flocking to the story."

"What kind of incident?"

"One of my kids will accidently fly off in the balloon and the media will gobble it up."

"Holy crap, man! You'd let one of your kids fly alone in a homemade hot-air balloon?"

"No, you idiot! We say that the kid is in the balloon, and when it comes down empty, the kid will reappear saying, he was never in the balloon in the first place. The world will feel great because the kid is safe and the Hollywood money people will find out about our idea."

"What does your wife think of this?"

"I haven't told her anything. She's an idiot. She'll do what she's told."

"What?"

"She talks big and looks good, but I've got her in her place."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm the master of my castle. The wife and kids do what their told."

"Oh! So you think this could work?"

"Of course, I just need you to tell me how to build the hot-air balloon."

"OK."

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