Costume Party Humor

by Dick Mac

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed; that there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every woman he could, grabbing a little feel here, and a little kiss there.

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.

He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

"Did you dance much?"

"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill, and some of the other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.

But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to . . . "

And speaking of marriage . . .

Overheard on the Internet:


My husband and I divorced over religious differences: He thought he was God, and I didn't.


A man on his deathbed gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, dear," he said to his wife.
"Of course, dear," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
"I do!"


A man goes to see the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"
The man explains, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, is surprised and asks, "How can that be?"
The man pleads, "I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
"Yes!" the man exclaims.
"Take the poison."


Thanks to Dave for sending these along!