Does this train take me to . . .

by Dick Mac

More than any other city in which I've lived, the streets and subways of New York, the great urban outdoors, play a huge role in the way local culture develops. More than Boston, Miami, San Francisco, Minneapolis, and London (the other major cities in which I've lived), the streets and subways of New York are hives of activity: love, commerce, art, commuting, etc.

Not just the homeless live in the streets and subways of New York.

There are salesmen: the ubiquitous hot dog and pretzel cart vendors, artists, sausage carts, knock-off designer bags, books, the contents of apartments from other neighborhoods, kids selling candy for their sports league or schools, and more.

There are the hustlers: the buskers, the preachers, the break-dancers, and my personal favorite: the guy selling Duracell batteries on the subway.

There are tourists: people with cameras, school groups, dance troupes, Americans, Asians, Europeans, Africans, Australians, Islanders, and perhaps even the occasional extra-terrestrial. Although I am not a fan of E.T. culture, it is clear to me that New York City is the place an alien would choose, if he needed to be under-cover on Earth.

There are the non-tourist out-of-towners: business people, students, shoppers, movie stars and rock stars, job applicants, diplomats, random billionaires, and others.

Then there is the subway, filled with many of those people, as well as commuters, residents, high school kids, and others from the metropolitan area making their way in and out of Manhattan.

If you are fascinated by humanity, as I am, the streets and subways of New York are the place to be. I like watching the people discover the city, search the city, live and love in the city.

When I see a person lost, with map in hand or hovering at the subway map with a blank stare, I offer to help.

The subway is the most challenging, because the question isn't always "which line gets me to Coney Island"; it's often: "how do I get to the Eretrian Embassy?" Not knowing where the Eretrian Embassy is located, it can be hard to help. More often than not, however, it is confusion with how to change lines, or how to tell if a train is going uptown or downtown, and how far East and West they might be. Streets like Canal, 14th, 23rd, 34th, 42nd, and 57th, can be very challenging for people because almost every line that enters Manhattan stops at those streets. Do you want to be at the East end of the street (take the Lexington Avenue line, or the Broadway line south of 23rd Street)? The Eighth Avenue line (A, C, E) is the furthest West. The 1, 2, and 3 travel Seventh Avenue. Sixth Avenue is serviced by the B, D, F, and M). The Broadway line cuts diagonally through the island, just as Broadway itself does.

One day I offered to help a man of Asian descent who was baffled by the 34th Street station at Herald Square.

In broken English he said "Find KAY-nel Street, please."

"Kaynel Street?" I asked, turning to look at the paper he was reading. He quickly pulled the page to his chest, so I could not read it. "I don't know Kaynel Street," I admitted. "Is it in Brooklyn or Queens?"

"Kaynel Broadway," he insisted.

I titled and slowly shook my head and tightened my lips.

He relented and showed me the paper he was clutching. Most of it was in Chinese characters, but there in the middle, in large print, in English, it said "Canal Street at Broadway."

I directed him to the Broadway line, he smiled and nodded, and I continued on my way. To this day, I refer to Canal Street as Kaynel Street.

In the January 10, 2011, issue of the New Yorker (subscribe here), this wonderful cartoon, by Joe Dator, appeared. I reprint it here without permission:



By the way, for those actually looking for the Eretrian Embassy's New York Office, it is at 100 Fifth Avenue (@ 15th Street). You can reach them by calling 1-212-647-1122. Take the Broadway line (N, Q, R) or the Lexington Avenue line (4, 5, 6) to 14th Street and walk one block West to Fifth Avenue, then one block North to 15th Street; or take the Sixth Avenue local (F, M) to 14th Street, and walk one block East to Fifth Avenue, then one block North to 15th Street.

How Do We Get The Children To School?

by Dick Mac

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) continues to hold public hearings on their plan to eliminate free transit cards for students to and from school. These are not college students, these are children: high school and junior high school students.

When I was in high school, I got a transit pass that allowed me to take a subway train to a bus miles and miles to my school. This made good sense. The number of school buses on the streets was kept to a minimum, the public infrastructure was being used, and tax dollars were being spent to advance society and civilization. Which old-fashioned me thinks is one of the points of taxation.

The decade following my graduation from high school, it was decided that government should not run like a government, it should run like a business. I'd like you to show me one single solitary business in the United States that operates effectively to benefit shareholders and civilization and the tax-payers who constantly cut it breaks. There isn't one. There is not a single American company that I think the government should emulate. The government should function as a government and it should provide transportation to minor students (children) getting to and from school. The education of these students is the future of our civilization. Not, as I like to say, that civilization means anything to most Americans.

If the City of New York is required to put more school buses on the streets to move students to and from school, the streets will be a disaster. Add to the additional school buses the number of families who will begin driving their children to school because it is cheaper than buying a subway card. Nobody will get anywhere and commerce will be brought to a stand-still.

We should use the public transit system to move urban students to and from school, and the government should find a way to make it happen.

New York City can't rely on Albany to do anything. New York has not had an effective governor since Mario Cuomo, and the buffoons currently in the Executive and Legislative branches have no interest in civilization, they are only interested in themselves and keeping their prisons full of men of color from the city who are busted on drug charges.

So what's a municipality to do? Demand that the program be retained, take it off the negotiating table, and get back to addressing other problems.

Mike Bloomberg, you have been a terrible mayor. Do this one thing for your citizens. Do this. Make the MTA stop this foolishness.

Mets Decline To Buy Naming Rights For Subway Stop

by Dick Mac

Baseball continues to be an embarrassment to America, capitalism, and good judgment.

Citigroup, a welfare queen that would make Ronald Reagan blush, will spend $20,000,000 per year for the next 20 years to have their name emblazoned on the New York Mets' new stadium in Willets Point, Queens.

"Welfare Park" will open at the beginning of the 2009 baseball season, and the Mets will take the taxpayers' dollars without batting an eye. Like all good conservatives, the Mets ownership will take the taxpayer for every nickel they can get. That's how conservatives are: when there are people who really need government assistance, they insist that is socialism; but, when it comes to rich white guys getting government money, then that is a free market.

So, the Mets' big plan includes getting $400,000,000 in welfare, and for the citizens of New York State to donate a subway station to the cause.

It is not verboten for the MTA to attach a corporate name to a subway station, but the idea is that the corporation will pay money for the privilege.

The Mets want the current Shea Stadium stop on the Flushing Line to be renamed Citi Field, so that it matches the name of Welfare Park. The Mets, however, are not willing to get up off any of the four hundred million they are collecting in welfare, so the MTA is refusing to rename the station.

Sadly, the MTA is renaming it Mets/Willets Point; which I think is far more generous than the welfare queens in Fred Wilpon's empire deserve.

Name the station Willets Point. Period. No "Citi Field," or "Mets," but maybe "Welfare Park"!

Stadium Is Citi Field, but the Subway Stop Has Other Ideas