Holiday Greetings this New Years' Eve

by Dick Mac

In order to avoid offending the delicate sensibilities of "conservative" and "libertarian" Americans, for whom anything outside their realm of experience is unacceptable, I said "Merry Christmas" this season, as well as "Happy Holidays."

In reality, I have always said "Merry Christmas" and almost never said "Happy Holidays," but I added the latter to my repertoire to be part of this mysterious conspiracy from which I felt excluded. I even bought a box of Happy Holidays cards and wrote Merry Christmas inside!

I was feeling left out because "conservatives" and "libertarians" go on and on about how we all say Happy Holidays. In reality, every Christian I know says Merry Christmas and every non-Christian I know says Happy Holidays, or Shalom. It's always nice. I love this time of year, because people say nice things like that to total strangers, to each other.

Another phrase that "conservatives" and "libertarians" seem perfectly comfortable with, and have added to the lexicon, is "Grab 'em by the pussy." Not one "conservative" or "libertarian" I know has ever said it is unacceptable. They generally say that the author of the phrase only said it once and the liberal media has blown it out of proportion. Clearly it is not their pussies that have been grabbed or promoted for such grabbing. If it was their pussies being grabbed they might have more to say about it. Most conservatives are so hideous, however, that nobody I know wants to touch them, never mind grab their genitals.

I think "Grab 'em by the pussy" (instead of "Happy New Year") should be used by "conservatives" and "libertarians" for the rest of this holiday season, in order to show how supportive they are of the America they are making great again.

Now that's the holiday spirit!

2017 Crushes

by Dick Mac

The day after Christmas, 2017, a Twitter account I follow tweeted about acting on a crush.  It was posted by a person on whom I have a crush and it made me start to think about what this means to me six decades into life.

I looked-up the word, and found these brief definitions:

crush
/krəSH/ n. informal

• a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable . . .
• a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
• an intense but usually short-lived infatuation.

Historically, I have taken action, usually flirtatious, when discovering someone with whom I am infatuated.  At this age, however, 'having a crush' on someone seems to be less about the opportunity to pursue a potential romantic interest, and is more a heartening reminder that I have great taste in human beings.

I was once in a conversation about why it is that my friends are all smart or beautiful.  You might say that's a stupid conversation, but I was much younger at the time.  I've learned that smart people are more attractive to me than closed-minded people, stylish people are more attractive to me than pretty people, and pretty people are just prettier than other people.

Yes, I do have crushes, and this is today's top ten list:

Barack Obama, politician.  One of the smartest men on the planet.  There is, apparently, no topic about which he cannot expound.  He's recently started appearing in the media again, and for that I am grateful. @BarackObama

Marcella Arguello, comedian.  The smartest woman in comedy today.  A commanding presence and unparalleled wit, combined with style and great politics.  She can be intimidating, but she is usually right. @marcellacomedy

Bettye LaVette, musician. Stylish, beautiful, and hard-working. A voice that should have been blasting from our speakers for the past 60 years.  If you haven't listened, buy a record now, then buy a concert ticket.  You will not be disappointed. @BettyeLaVette

Khiry Shelton, athlete. One of America's best young soccer players. Hard-working, charming, and handsome.  He got little opportunity to show his skills while playing in New York City, and will be missed now that he was traded to Sporting Kansas City. @KhiryShelton

John Leguizamo, actor.  One of the smartest and funniest men on the planet.  Decades into his career, he remains vital and brilliant, and still looks great. @JohnLeguizamo

Colin Kaepernick, athlete and activist.  Politics, style, and guts can be a recipe for disaster or make for a very attractive person. This guy hasn't wavered and my heart skips a beat as he continues his mission of rightousness amd charity. @Kaepernick7

Chris Hardwick, comedian.  When you watch Chris Hardwick, you can see the brilliance spinning behind his eyes; seemingly always a step or two ahead of the conversation.  And he's sorta cute. @hardwick

Justin Trudeau, politician.  When a man with a mind like his, politics that are so right-on, a smile to make his mother proud, and an ass like his, you know that you've found someone special. @JustinTrudeau

Yuka Honda, musician.  The dissolution of Cibo Matto this year reminded me how much I adore this woman.  A commanding presence on stage, a band leader whose attention to detail is obvious during performance, and now married. @YukaCHonda

Thierry Henry, athlete.  The King of France became the King of Football, in 2017.  He remains incrediibly charming, smart, and easy-on-the-eye.  Those of us fortunate to have watched him play during his career got to see one of the greatest and most creative athletes of our times. @ThierryHenry

Karen Fonseca's Etsy Store

by Dick Mac

Photo from Karen Fonseca's Facebook Page

Karen Fonseca is the woman who made a sticker for her vehicle that read "Fuck Trump and Fuck You for Voting for Him."

Local law enforcement who were too ignorant to actually know the law of the land decided to harass her, so she made a matching sticker for the sheriff.

It seems that the sheriff didn't know about freedom of speech, so when his feelings were hurt he thought he could abuse his power and harass her.  He did, and the harassment continues; but you can support her buy purchasing her stickers and/or t-shirt!

Shop 'til you drop!

Link to Karen Fonseca's Etsy Shop

Three of My Last Ten Facebook Posts were "Political" and That Makes Me a Racist Cop-Hater

by Dick Mac

The past couple of days I've spent more time on Facebook than usual. I've been un-following a bunch of pages that are click-bait disguised as cultural and political sites. Generally, I post pictures on Facebook, offer comments to things people have posted, and make note of events I am attending.

As a consequence of paying more attention to the site and phone app the past few days, I've made more posts than usual.  This prompted a Facebook Messenger message from someone I've known for decades (yes, a person I actually know, and he is a friend or a relative but I won't tell you which) telling me that they are sick and tired of all my political rants.

I wrote back saying I didn't think I posted that many political rants, and they explained that I've been posting like crazy the past day and they are sick of my rants.

In the past, I have been blocked by actual friends because I posted too much.  I went through a phase of over-posting music videos from the Golden Age of Pop Music, over-posting political stuff, and sometimes revealing too much about my personal life.  I like to think I've reined-in most of that; and recently I've posted much less than I used to, so I was surprised to hear about "all my political rants."

I looked at my last ten posts that covered the previous 27 hours, and this is what I found in order of the oldest posting first:

1. A status update making a joke about alcohol and drugs.
2. A video of The Jam performing on the Marc Bolan show, in 1977.
3. A screen print of an iTunes playlist sorted by Number of Plays.
4. An article about a black girl who was beaten up by the police.
5. A video of a six-year-old girl running an obstacle course.
6. A video of Larry Graham and Prince performing "Thank You" at BB King's.
7. A video of the Florida State Attorney being pulled over by a cop.
8. A funny picture from Boing Boing of "conference call bingo."
9. A lesbian comedian offering hilarious romantic advice to heterosexual men.
10. A video of African-American parents talking to their children about law enforcement.

A cursory examination of the list shows that the only remotely political posts I made were about police harassing or brutalizing African-American taxpayers and children, which is a cultural, medical, economic, and political problem in the United States.

My friend was never a "conservative" but he is a reactionary and a populist.  He jumps on bandwagons, he doesn't have original thoughts about political or cultural issues. I know he voted for Reagan the second time, Clinton the first time, Obama the second time, and Trump.  I've thought about our conversations in the past and wondered why he hasn't complained and I realize he is upset because all three of my "political" posts are about police harassing black people.

And it dawns on me:  this guy is a racist!  I made ten posts, mostly about the entertainment industry, and all he sees are my "rants" about police harassing black people.

So, I wrote back with this list and asked if he thought the issue of race was in play here.  He was angry that I "called him a racist," which I hadn't done at that time, and he said that I was a racist who hated the police.  He insisted that I have always hated the police and always taken the side of black people during political disputes.  Although he intended this as an attack, I was very happy that he'd noticed, and I am proud of my political analyses and positions.

I do not hate the police, but I do hate people who are bad at their jobs, people who abuse their power, and liars.  The internet has shown us that the banking and technology industries are not the only industries with these problems:  law enforcement also has problems with these types of people.

In most industries, when someone is really bad at his job, those around them work to get rid of the guy.  In law enforcement, when someone is really bad at his job, those around them form a wall to protect them.  This exacerbates the problem and prevents us from making necessary changes as quickly as they should have already happened.

I responded in the message thread that I do not hate the police, and tried to lighten the tone by explaining that "some of my friends are cops."  He said that remark was proof that I was a cop-hating racist.

At that point I realized I should just withdraw, so I did not respond, and fortunately he has removed me as a friend.  Whew!

I'm glad that's over!

Reaccommodate

by Dick Mac

Click on image of definition for larger version.

Dear David Bowie

by Dick Mac

I still have the clock-radio I received for Christmas in 1980. One morning, in Roxbury, Massachusetts, it woke me with news radio station WEEI-AM announcing that my friends Kitty and Peter had been arrested in Maine while smuggling 24 tons of marijuana.  That startled me into the morning and I was wide awake.

On this day, last year, it woke me as it has done for most of the last 35+ years: with news.  On this particular day it was in Brooklyn, New York, and the NPR station, WNYC-AM, was airing Morning Edition.  The announcer’s voice stated clearly, concisely, and without even a touch of emotion that “rock star David Bowie died overnight, he was 69.”

I remembered hearing my phone beep and jingle much earlier, but I’d ignored it because nobody actually called. I assumed they were alerts from social media, or my broker, or a creditor. When I looked, however, they were mostly text messages from people in Europe (mostly England).

You were dead! David Bowie was dead.

I couldn’t recall the last time I’d heard you were dead. I think it was NEVER. This was a first. Again. And I had no idea you were setting yet another trend by departing this mortal coil. The weeks and months that followed saw scores of culturally significant humans also die. Always ahead of the curve, you are. They were just copying you!

I was numb. I called nobody, I responded to no messages, I don’t know what I did. When 7:00 AM passed, the phone started ringing and the text messages poured in.

I don’t know whom I spoke to first: Liz, my sister, my daughter . . . it’s a bit of a blur. It wasn’t you, that’s for sure. You were dead.

I’m not sure what happens when you die, so I don’t know if you’ve seen what a great time we’ve had since your passing. All kinds of tribute shows and parties. My goodness! You left quite a legacy and everyone wants to jump in and enjoy it. Did you see Perry Farrell sing “Rebel Rebel”? Wow!

There’s a tribute show at Terminal 5 tonight. A great line-up (basically your band). Tons of tickets available because it’s such a crap venue. You can skip this one. I am. If you know anyone who needs a ticket, send them my way: I have plenty!

Anyway, I wrote you a letter that day (January 11, 2016), but you never responded. That’s not like you, so I guess you really are dead.

Last year I said my life would be slightly less amusing without you. That has proven to be true; but I got a little frame . . . something cheap . . . for you.

Dear David Bowie 2016

Happy Birthday!

by Dick Mac

SEVENTY!

It's an impressive age: 70 years old.

I do not know many people who lived so long. Neither of my parents lived to seventy.  My father died at 51 and my mother was 65.  None of my grandparents made it to seventy: my maternal grandmother was 42, my maternal grandfather 47, my paternal grandmother 57, and my paternal grandfather was 62.  Some aunts made it to 70, but not many of my uncles did.

Throughout my life, young people I knew died of drug overdoses or violence. As a young man, the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances died of AIDS.  It's really only be recently that I've known people who died of age-related illness.

Me?  I will be 59 soon, so I have over a decade to go before I enjoy the beginning of my 8th decade.

At my 35th birthday party, a sibling (or two) remarked that they never thought I'd live so long.

At my 40th birthday party, I was a couple of years sober and dating the woman who would become my ex-wife.

At my 45th birthday, I received a snow globe collection from friends and acquaintances all over the world.

At my 50th birthday party, I was the father of a toddler and my home was filled with people.

I haven't really had a party since then.  Fifty-five just didn't seems like an anniversary to celebrate.  I have no plans to have a party for my 59th birthday.

Maybe I'll celebrate my 60th birthday in 2018.  Maybe not.  I guess my birthday parties have really been celebrations made by other people.  So, I probably won't be the person who decides if I do or that and that is OK with me.

Today, however, I will celebrate the 70th anniversary of David Bowie's birth.

I have two distinct memories of celebrating David Bowie's birthday in the past: In 1997, I attended the 50th Birthday Bash at Madison Square Garden. Last year, in 2016, I joined Tony Visconti and the Holy Holy audience at Highline Ballroom to sing Happy Birthday to him over Visconti's iPhone.  None of us knew that 69th birthday would be our last opportunity to sing to him:

Happy birthday, sailor!